what drives desire? perhaps it is a chaotic blend of percolating pheromones & society's covert conditioning that attracts one person to another. desire may be purely chemical or emotional but regardless of the driving force, the complexities are evident.
i've recently realized that despite these natural, hormonal factors & my own experienced, logical analysis of prospective partners, the attributes of the ones i most desire hardly ever compute with the total sum of parts of the ideal mate i have created in my head. i have been faced with these circumstances on multiple occasions & each time my mind has shouted distress signals which my foolish heart ignores as it laughs in the face of danger. one might even think i am a glutton for punishment. my tastes in men quite often reflect the self-destructive streak that so prominently characterizes many of my actions & subconsciously subscribes to the Good Girl Vs. Bad Boy mentality. even with the terms "good" & "bad" being loosely defined, it all seems to spell out TROUBLE in the end.
in fact, i do make informed decisions & keep in mind what is best for me, but oftentimes the wrong decision seems much more appealing. so who am i to pass judgment or blame on the subject of my affections when they fail to surprise me & cannot surpass their natural disposition & continue to be precisely the person i expected them to be? the choices i make are my own & i am the only scoundrel that should be held accountable for them. i know what i am getting myself into. i know exactly what these tremulous waters have in store for me, exactly what dangers lurk beneath the soul's surface... even so, i hope not to bash my head against jagged rocks as i dive headfirst into calamity.
they say a clear sign of insanity is doing the same thing & expecting different results.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment